Image by Alexas Fotos – Pixabay
IS IT HALLOWEEN OR JUST ANOTHER PANDEMIC SATURDAY?
What will Halloween 2020 look and sound like? Just another pandemic Saturday? What theme would be appropriate for a year filled with “Who is that masked man? Oh yeah, that’s my neighbor, hi George!” With so many people wearing masks, how can you tell the “trickster” from the “treat giver”? A Halloween prankster or a kid returning home with a bag of groceries? Halloween is generally a celebration of the fanciful or mysterious and spooky, but harmless scare. But still, depending on the venue, and as part of the scary aspect, If we celebrate it at all, what should we expect to experience? For me, after so many years of Halloween parties and celebrations, now it’s no big deal. But I still look forward to the unexpected costumed surprises. A gorilla at the grocery store checkout holding a bunch of bananas. A fairytale princess at the lunch counter ordering the lumberjack special. The bearded guy in diapers holding a baby bottle in one hand and a six-pack in the other (ok that one’s always a little unsettling!) And no scary Halloween is complete without a witch, wizard, or prowling dark hungry-looking creature with glowing eyes and goop oozing from a gaping mouth. And will at least one neighbor’s yard sport hanging skeletons, open caskets, and murky creeping fog? (Albeit from dry ice or fog making machine). Along with the omnipresent, eerie music, shrieks and howls emanating from some app, widget, or gadgets from the Halloween shop or Dollar Store.
Image by John Hain – Pixabay
WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO LIVE WITH KILLER CLOWNS?
But no scare would be complete without stalkers. Stealthy creatures, who lay in wait for the careless, the unsuspecting, the clueless? Our natural instinct would be to run from them. But have you ever wondered what it would be like living with a stalker or actual Killer Clowns who play with their doomed victims out of sheer amusement? Cannibalistic maybe, lethal perhaps, but in their mind, always playful. Swatting their highly prized catch back and forth between sharp claws. And catching them between sharp teeth. OG (Old Garden) Lizard may have met such a fate. Left outside my bedroom door he was gifted to me. Thanks but No-Thanks! I tossed his listless body back into the yard. But I believe I subsequently saw his tattered old body or that of his ghost lounging on a rock. OG Lizard, like many of his species when threatened, may have fooled his predators by playing dead.
I SEE DEAD THINGS!
“I see dead things”! Propped up on a couch watching scary movies of monsters, serial killers and aliens. Anything that scares the crap out of me on Halloween. So much so that I nearly jump out of my skin at the feel of a wet scratchy lick on my cheek. Or an unexpected rub against my exposed leg. But worse yet feel the rendering of soft flesh from sharp nails or claws. Yep, got wrapped up in the movie and forgot all about the cat. Who picked that moment to: lick my cheek, rub against my leg or leap for my lap. But misjudge the distance and dig razor-sharp claws into my exposed flesh instead. All in an attempt to keep from falling the great height of six inches to the floor.
Image by Alexas Fotos – Pixabay
FAR MORE TERRIFYING ARE EVERYDAY THINGS THAT SPOOK AND SCARE
And is it any wonder I could nearly jump out of my own skin? Between the scary movies, eerie music, and sudden screams and howls inherent to a scary Halloween theme or IRA audit. But apart from audits and Halloween, there are hand-in-glove sounds that accompany a good scare. Not music, creepy laughs, or ghoulish sounds from an app but the natural sounds they attempt to imitate are even scarier. The real-life everyday things that spook and scare are far more terrifying! The unexpected crunch of a boot on gravel or dry leaves, the howl of the wind, rattle of windows and creaking doors. And squeaking floorboards in the dead of night take on a whole new menacing nature. Especially when accompanied by “things that go bump in the night”. Like scratchy nerve-tingling noises, gurgling sounds, or growls and shrieks! Whether at home or some venue, odors and smells evoke powerful memories. Not those of fresh-baked-cookies, freshly mowed lawns, or clean laundered linen. But the acrid, charred, burnt smell of fire. The fetid odor of mildew and mold. But wait,“be still my wildly beating heart!” The unmistakable musty scent of a wet encroaching animal or pet. “Stop right there buddy, don’t you dare shake water off your matted fur onto me and my clean dry clothes!”
Image by Alexas Fotos – Pixabay
HALLOWEEN NUTCASE
I’m no Halloween nutcase, but what if I told you every day I see dark, hungry, prowling always restless creatures. They’re only at peace with goop oozing from gaping mouths. Heads down, lapping up every morsel I set before them, every day at meal-time. And In the dead of night, I’ve seen bright unblinking eyes and I know the critters, not “things that go bump in the night! And heard creaking floorboards from the dead weight of overfed creatures. And how many nights have I awakened to razor-sharp claws scratching on my bedroom door, growls, shrieks, or yelps as they chase each other and any living thing, through the house. And occasional nights, when nature calls, I struggle out of bed and cross my heart and hope not to die. Because I walk barefoot at my own expense. I can never know what slick, icky unpleasant stepped on surprise awaits me. A surprise left by one of these creatures could easily send me sliding into a wall. Or cause an unceremonious butt dump onto a hard unforgiving floor. And “come on nose, please fail me now!” What is that unholy smell? Surely a herd of stampeding elephants, newly escaped from a traveling circus took a dump in my backyard! Talk about stinky, pungent, and malodorous. Or did somebody miss the litter box preferring the bathroom floor? Very not funny Cat!
Image by AnnaliseArt – Pixabay
A FOUR CAT MYSTERY DAY!
You see Halloween is just another ordinary day filled with mystery and suspense because I live with four cats. Yeah, that’s right four of them and two are black. If you’ve been following my Pet Mystery “Who Done It Series, then you know every day is a 4 cat mystery day as I search for a perp (perpetrator) to solve the mystery of “who done it! Who went “bump in the night” and knocked over my bowl of fruit? Which fat cat is responsible for the creaking floorboards outside my door in the dead of night? Is it the same one who’s scratching on my door at 3 AM? And between the two of you, which impossible to see in the dark, black cat, shriek, then run when I unknowingly stepped on his tail? Which cat is growling at the other because he doesn’t want to play with him? What am I smelling? Who pooped on the bathroom floor, rather than the litter box? And did one or all of you Killer Clowns swat, chew on, and play with poor OG Lizard till you “ghosted him”? I live with 4 perps who just happen to resemble cats. I’m the defective detective and every day brings a new mystery to solve. Between my resident black cats: mysterious noises, rattling windows, creaking floors, shrieks and growls, unholy smells, sharp claws, sharp teeth, accidental scratches, and occasional dead offerings, around here you might say, “Every Day Is Halloween”!
HARMLESS PAYBACK
I love each and every one of my cats and enjoy their company immensely. They truly are sweet fun-loving creatures. I make them the butt of humor because trust me, I’m the butt of their humor every day! So these stories are harmless payback! Happy Halloween my pets!
Image by AnnaliseArt – Pixabay
If you enjoy reading my blogs you’ll also enjoy my new books. The youth version is entitled, “Remember When Max Swiped that Pork Chop off Uncle Ted’s Plate?” And the Adult version is entitled, “Remember When Butta Stuffed His Big Butt into That Tiny Little Box”? These books can be enjoyed by anyone who cherishes animals and pets but are especially helpful to anyone who has endured the loss of one. And trust me, they make the perfect gift! Keep looking because very shortly you’ll be able to access them on my ashes2essenz.com website, ETSY.com, and Amazon.com.
Thank You Valued Readers
Sandra Moses